Senior Assassin: A recap of this Years Game so far

Jordan Boley chasing down target Jack Gomez

Fearing for his spot in his game, he took many precautions to avoid being hunted down and “splatted” as it is colloquially known

If you’ve been active on Instagram, or really just paying attention, around the school lately, you’ve likely heard about the ongoing Senior Assassin game. The game, in which a player is given a target who they must eliminate using a water gun within the week, has gripped the Senior class, with many vying for the prize pool. A quick forward, but all the eliminations were made in compliance with the rules of the game, that being no eliminations on Campus grounds, during practice, or at the target’s work. As well, there is a bit of profanity from the heat of the moment. Today, I will recap some of the highlights of the game thus far and show you some of the magic of this game.

Biggest Guardian Angel

Through word of mouth, contestant Ben Daily learned that he was being hunted down by Cash Bowe. Fearing for his spot in his game, he took many precautions to avoid being hunted down and “splatted” as it is colloquially known, such as getting his Calc teacher, Mrs. Gosse, permission to leave early to evade Cash. His precautions, however, were rendered moot when on April 9, Cash arrived outside his house. Ben, however, had an ace up his sleeve, as he knew that Aiden Kimmel was hunting for Cash. So, he tipped off Aiden, who promptly arrived, eliminating Cash and saving Ben.

Biggest Blunder

On April 8, Hayden Ulloa was given what seemed like a golden opportunity, when a friend offered to help him eliminate his target. The plan was simple: Hayden would get in his friend’s trunk, the friend would drive him to his target, and Hayden would splat his target. Unfortunately for Hayden, it was a ruse. Hayden quickly realized upon the opening of the trunk that instead of being delivered to his target, he was being ambushed by his assassin, as Easton Beaudry ruthlessly splatted Hayden.

Most Cinematic

NOTE: we cannot show the video because of bad language (sorry).

On April 15, round 2 started off with a bang, with Cole Johnson bagging his second elimination against Caden Noel. I still don’t exactly know the circumstances that led to his elimination, so allow me to speculate:

It was a dark and cold April day, and Caden Noel was on the run. “Ice Cold” Cole Johnson was on the hunt, and Caden was running out of places to hide. Now, Caden thought he knew the one place where he was safe, a safehouse that “Ice Cold” Cole didn’t know about. He strolled in, sat down at a poker table, and ordered a tall glass of Water to drink. In the dark and seedy hiding spot he was in, nobody knew his name and nobody thought to look up from their drinks or their cards. A few rounds in, and he was riding high. Nobody could beat him, until a mysterious stranger walked in.

The stranger sat down at the table. Caden looked up. The stranger spoke. “My now, aren’t you a good player. Good player like you probably attracts a lot of attention. Seems like you should be laying low. ‘Specially when you “Ice Cold” Cole is gunning for you.”

“How do you know that?” Caden asked. 

The stranger simply smiled. “Now let’s make a deal. A game of Poker for you life. You win, and I tell you who’s after Cole. I win, and Cole splats you. Seems fair if you ask me.” Everyone in the house turned to look at Caden. Caden knew his life was on the line. But he was cocky, and knew he was going to win. 

“Alright, buddy. Let’s Play.”

Now, this stranger knew how to play a hand of cards better than most. A few rounds in, Caden was down to his last chips. The stranger had an ice cold smile on his look the entire time. Caden was desperate, and knew he had to win. The dealer dealt him his cards. Two Aces. Caden was confident, and raised. The stranger, without looking at his cards, smiled and called..The Dealer dealt the next cards. An Ace of Hearts. Then an Ace of Clubs. Caden was sweating, but he knew he had won. The Stranger, without dropping his smile, spoke. “All in.” Caden was shocked, but he knew he had it, so he went All in too. The dealer dealt the next three cards. A Jack, 10, and 4 of Hearts.

Caden leaped from his chair, revealing his cards. “4 Aces! Suck it!” he shouted.

“Ah ah ah,” the stranger taunted. He flipped over his cards, revealing a King and Queen of Hearts. A royal flush. Caden was in disbelief. With a sly grin, the stranger pulled a bat from under the table. “Sorry, Kid. It’s just Business.” With a swift strike, Caden was out cold.

Or something like that. Probably nothing like that, if we’re being honest.

And there you have it. Some of the best eliminations we’ve seen so far. I’ll hopefully be back soon to see where the game is going and bring you some more elimnations. So in the meantime, remember to be safe out their, watch out for hunters, and not to bet it all on a game of cards.