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The Little Yellow Paper

Disclaimer: I understand that this form is necessary. I just wish it weren’t.

Do you want to graduate? Sorry, you can’t unless you fill out a little, repetitive form. This might be harsh. It’s really just a little piece of paper after all; however, it is a tedious, time consuming, out of date act.

I have been going on a wild goose chase for the past week just trying to get teacher and staff signatures. No matter the case, there’s always a catch, always something else to do. And, if you have days with full schedules, you often have to leave class to find teachers to sign. Obviously, it’s easier to get the teacher to sign it while you’re in the class, but it’s easy to forget. Forgetting is not good when the paper determines if you graduate on Sunday or not.

The paper in question.

I understand the importance of teachers making sure classes are passed and such, I don’t really have an issue with that section of the form—I understand it. But, what I don’t understand is why I need to RETURN MY COMBINATION LOCK IN STRENGTH TRAINING THAT I’VE NEVER HAD. Now, I understand that some people have had a combination lock, I do, but why is it that important? If I don’t return a lock, I don’t get my diploma for the last four years of blood, sweat, and tears? Makes sense. They make you turn it in at the end of the lifting semester anyway.

I’m sure Karen Apple is a nice lady, but I don’t know where to find her. Half my friends don’t know where to find her, there's not a time or date to find her on the paper. I don’t even have money in my lunch account. It seems like a waste of my time. Also, one of my friends tried to turn in her parking tag on Monday, which was convenient for her, and they simply did not let her because it was “too early.”

But, you know, the form isn’t that bad. There are some benefits to completing the form. First and foremost, you are allowed to graduate. How nice, a little yellow piece of paper determines if you’re one of the roughly 80% of high school students that make it out of their four-year institution. Also, you get heckled by teachers if you haven’t turned your books in yet. Even if you are planning to. Even if you’re handing them the book. Just take the damn book, please.

So, if you really want to graduate, get the form filled out. Turn the form in. Sometimes in life, we have to do things we don’t want to do. Lastly, Austin Lee would like to include some tips for getting the form done:

“You should’ve done it already. You honey—you attract more bees with honey than uh vinegar. Wait, change that. You attract more butterflies with honey.”

That sums it up, happy graduation!

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May 26, 2022


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