The 77th Hunger Games Tributes: Ft. North Scott Staff

Welcome to the 77th Annual Hunger Games. This year, in a shocking twist, the Capitol has chosen all tributes exclusively from the staff of North Scott High School. Here are the contenders for this year's brutal games...

Happy Hunger Games. And, may the odds be ever in your favor.

District 1: Jewelry and Luxury Goods

Tribute 1: David Linnenbrink

As the welding teacher, that's close enough to jewelry and luxury goods for me.

Tribute 2: Michele Mess

As the art teacher, she is around enough luxury goods that I bet she could be from District 1.

District 2: Masonry and Weapons

Tribute 1: Mr. Greenwood

He knows enough about ancient wars and weaponry that he should be fine.

Tribute 2: Sean Marmion

His knowledge of world history & battles makes him a good representation of a District 2 tribute.

District 3: Technology

Tribute 1: Josh Tipsword

The Network Specialist of the North Scott District and Lancer Production's technological expert.

Tribute 2: Omar Alkhrissat

He's the computer science teacher. What else can I say?

District 4: Fishing 

Tribute 1: Brandy Simmons

It was pretty difficult picking out teachers for this district since fishing isn't exactly included in the NS curriculum. However, Mrs. Simmons is a biology teacher here at NS, meaning she has an excellent knowledge of living creatures.

Tribute 2: Brian Dennis

He probably knows something about fish.

District 5: Power/Electricity 

Tribute 1: Allie Miguel

Chemistry Teacher—hopefully her knowledge of electricity & balancing equations will help her out in the reaping.

Tribute 2: Paula Nemmers-Skarich

Physics Teacher—remember the unit surrounding static electricity in physics?

District 6: Transportation 

Tribute 1: Jennifer Sambdman

Bringing students to foreign countries through the travel club, she knows her way around travel. Good luck.

Tribute 2: Emily Hintze

Mrs. Hintze similarly brings the students of NS to foreign countries through the travel club. Plus, she is famously pals with Mrs. Sambdman and I'm sure the capital will froth at the mouth with the potential friends-to-enemies drama.

District 7: Lumber

Tribute 1: Jason Cousino

As the "Student Built Homes Teacher," he is a prime example of a District 7 tribute.

Tribute 2: Olivia Solbrig

You know what trees make? Paper. You know what paper makes? Books. Is this a stretch? Maybe. But it's good enough for me. Olivia Solbrig, the English/Language Arts teacher here at North Scott, is the second tribute representing District 7 in the 77th Hunger Games.

District 8: Textiles

Tribute 1: Sierra Welch

The Family and Consumer Sciences teacher at North Scott High School. With her clothing design class, she is the prime tribute to represent District 8.

Tribute 2: Sean Chapman

Although not related to fabric... He is the creative writing teacher at North Scott, so he knows how to weave a story together.

District 9: Grain production 

Tribute 1: Brooke Rich

Being the foods teacher, she is a great representation of District 9.

Tribute 2: Eric Lenze

Grain production is a topic in AP Geography!

District 10: Livestock

Tribute 1: Josh Pestka

As the Ag/Registrar, that's enough for him to be a representative from District 10.

Tribute 2: Holly Hoelting

As one of the biology teachers at North Scott, her knowledge of living creatures makes her a great example of District 10.

District 11: Agriculture

Tribute 1: Jacob Hunter

As one of the VoAg teachers here at North Scott High School, he is ready to fight in North Scott's 77th Hunger Games, representing District 11.

Tribute 2: Emily Kruse-Cain

As another VoAg teacher here at North Scott, she is a perfect representation of District 11.

District 12: Coal Mining

Tribute 1: Zeb Hubner

Remember the unit mentioning coal mining in U.S. history? Well, that's enough for me to put him as a tribute from District 12.

Tribute 2: Ashley Laber

Being a fellow U.S. history teacher, she is here for the same reason as Mr. Hubner.

DISCLAIMER: This article is in honor of April Fools and is purely for comedic and entertainment purposes.