Breaking News: Texas is a Communist Country

This is just in: Texas has now officially declared its independence from the Western ideas of the United States. This newly formed communist country has blocked all borders to neighboring states, restricting access of traveling in or out.

Elected dictator, Greg Abbott, has given his speech at 8:00 AM this morning, April 1st, declaring his decision. “Western ideas,” Abbott begins, “have been corrupting the lives of people, my people, and it is time to do something about it!” Abbott started his secret communist campaign several months ago, by creating and supporting the Communist Party of Texas, that can be found here.

Texas has been a known republican state that has passed bills that other states have questioned mortality behind the bills. Republicans in this state have been so heavily conservative, many people were concerned over how restricting bills are.

Bills such as banning consensual sex and tall stairs to avoid any ideas women might have concerning babies. The Onion, a news source exporting in Texas, has been following Texas and reporting on their questionable bills.

Questions and concerns about this new, next door neighbor and whether or not we are going to act upon it. The Lance was able to get an inclusive interview with President Biden listed below:

Interview:

Q. Will there be a new civil war?

A. Abbott does not scare the American people and the people will not deter from the main objective of freeing the Texas people. We will do everything in our power to bring Texas back to congress.

Q. Do you recognize Texas as a new country?

A. The United States does not recognize Texas as a new country and will not ever recognize it as such. Texas is the United States.

Q. Is it a good idea to bring Texas back, knowing that it has communist influences?

A. Any communist influence can be stamped out of the American people’s minds and bring back the freedom they are entitled to.

President Abbott has not responded to our emails regarding an interview. More information regarding the new country can be found here.